I've learned. And now I'm happy.

The truth is, I am happy, or at least content. It seems I haven’t felt that for so long. Just happiness; it’s such a common idea, and yet so often difficult to attain. This year has been a rough one and I sure battled my demons, so to speak. Now, I have emerged from that tunnel and I am glad to say that, well, I’m stronger. I get it now. Life isn’t what I expected. College sure wasn’t either, but hey, one more year and that chapter will be over, too. Just like high school. I hated high school when I was in it, and now all I do is wish for those years. The people I knew then are the people I still feel the closest to today. A simple text from Cy, a laugh from Justin, a postcard from Emily; those things mean the most. Making Matt laugh with my voicemail, having Kevin to hang with, getting chased by Campus Safety with Nolan, those are the times that I cherish even now, three years after graduation. I wish I wouldn’t have taken it for granted. Most of those people don’t even read this, but thank you to them all anyway. I’m sorry that I wasn’t always the greatest friend. I’m different now, we all are, but maybe we can still regain lost time, or at least not take the current time for granted.

I’ve learned:
That life doesn’t give you a perfectly planned route, but you build bridges over those unexpected holes and just keep stepping.
That I matter, and that my ideas don’t have to be parallel to everyone else’s.
That it’s up to me to work hard. I can’t complain if I didn’t give it my best.
That deep relationships are the reason I wake up in the morning.
That my family is the best I ever could have asked for.
That sometimes people leave, and it’s no one’s fault.
That the hardest decision and the right decision are the same.
That none of these things can be learned fully until you learn the lesson yourself.

Above all, hold on to those who matter the most to you. Hold on tight enough to show them love, and light enough to let them be just who they are. That is what matters.