Life is:
a rollercoaster
a whirlwind
a dance
a friend
a tornado
a song
an enemy
a journey
It's difficult for me to share with you, my anonymous reader, all of the ins and outs of my personal experiences. It's not that I don't wish to; I do! And yet it seems inappropriate to tell you the details of my date Saturday night, my old interest, my emotional battle, and my disappointments in how lousy school really is. Already, I fear I have said too much.
The truth is, there is a perpetual amount of info that my friends deserve to know, but I am yet sorting it out in my head. Once I figure it out, I will share it. That is my solemn vow to you. For now, enjoy this, the ramblings of my heart in print:
Find me standing
Here with you
Within this dream
Of gray and blue
I do not know
Just who you are
But I want to reach
So far, how far
Take me in
Hold me close
Make me safe
I fear the most
Can I be made
So brand new
That you accept
Me for what’s true
God just give me
One pure sign
To help me see
What should be mine
In the next three days, I have 3 presentations, a signing assessment, a portfolio, and two tests to complete.
But I am looking forward to this weekend when I will see my family, and especially my brother who will be performing in a school production [as a tap dancer!] Not to mention Saturday night with a birthday girl, a night that is sure to bring on trouble beyond your imagination.
Oh yah, I was blessed to see Brian Regan live in Long Beach last Friday! Geez, he is amazing! I cried, I laughed, I almost peed my pants [TMI].
My favorite line: "Can you believe that some guy is sitting around laughing his head off because he got rich selling "Blank-inside" cards! He's selling a crease! It doesn't even say anything on the inside! Just a picture of a tree on the outside, and nothing inside! Unbelievable!"
I love stand up comedy. Which reminds me, friend [you know who you are] I think I still have your DVD. Sorry. I'd give it back, but then just end up borrowing it and keeping it forever again. :-)
As much as I love procrastinating by pretending this blog is worthy of my time, I must accomplish some things today.
Until next time, LOVE. PEACE. AND SOUL.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
A Poem for a Journey
Because sometimes a normal blog just won't cut it:
Maybe these moments
of struggle and sting
are building me up inside.
I’m fighting for something
different now,
a world where I need not hide.
The truth is, I’ve changed
and I cannot pretend
that I am who I once was.
I will no longer model my life
and behavior the way
everyone else does.
But maybe this new girl emerging
won’t really be all that bad.
True, for now I’m still broken,
scared, beaten down,
and earnestly mad.
Take me for what I am,
because I have nothing else to give.
It’s my turn
to figure out what it feels like
to completely and honestly live.
Oh, the future seems so far
and I cannot fathom
what it holds.
Yet I’m impatiently waiting
to see the uncertains,
the dreams,
and the untolds.
By Mallory Roseborough, April 15, 2007
Maybe these moments
of struggle and sting
are building me up inside.
I’m fighting for something
different now,
a world where I need not hide.
The truth is, I’ve changed
and I cannot pretend
that I am who I once was.
I will no longer model my life
and behavior the way
everyone else does.
But maybe this new girl emerging
won’t really be all that bad.
True, for now I’m still broken,
scared, beaten down,
and earnestly mad.
Take me for what I am,
because I have nothing else to give.
It’s my turn
to figure out what it feels like
to completely and honestly live.
Oh, the future seems so far
and I cannot fathom
what it holds.
Yet I’m impatiently waiting
to see the uncertains,
the dreams,
and the untolds.
By Mallory Roseborough, April 15, 2007
Monday, April 9, 2007
Back to Reality
The real world beckons me, come. I fear this approaching week, for I did not utilize my spring break in a way that would ease my undeniable stress. You see, although I finished the activities for certain school related assignments, I have not written the lengthy papers that accompany them. And they are due incredibly soon.
I am back in my apartment. Tomorrow is an early morning. School begins again. Can you tell that I am mentally unprepared for this daunting forecast? Soon, it will be over, though! The summer is only 24 days away! I can make it; I am [almost] positive!
The other thing on my mind is my unstoppable "emo" phase. True, at first glance you might deem me "preppy," but deep down inside there is a girl with raging feelings who likes listening to bands who share those raging feelings. My emotions are taking over, and it will take some divine intervention to stop them. For now, I will listen to those lyrics that make me say, "Yes, yes! That is so true, and my life parallels that phrase!" And I will also share some of those lyrics with you:
John Mayer: [A portion of] Split Screen Sadness
…All you need is love is a lie cause
We had love but we still said goodbye
Now we're tired, battered fighters
And it stings when it's nobody's fault
Cause there's nothing to blame at the drop of your name
It's only the air you took and the breath you left
Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on the porch 'til you come back home
Oh, right
I can't find a flight
So I'll check the weather wherever you are
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right
We share the sadness
Split screen sadness
I called
Because
I just
Need to feel you on the line
Don't hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day
Don't let me get away
Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me
So I can say this is the way that I used to be
There's no substitute for time
Or for the sadness
Split screen sadness
We share the sadness
Thank you to those who have put up with me lately; you are true friends. I promise that I will eventually snap out of this phase! To Mom and Dad, thank you for a great week! I loved being with you!
And so it begins: Get ready world! I am going to kick butt this week, even if it kills me [which it might...]
Good night, dream well, friends. And dream big. Never forget to dream big.
I am back in my apartment. Tomorrow is an early morning. School begins again. Can you tell that I am mentally unprepared for this daunting forecast? Soon, it will be over, though! The summer is only 24 days away! I can make it; I am [almost] positive!
The other thing on my mind is my unstoppable "emo" phase. True, at first glance you might deem me "preppy," but deep down inside there is a girl with raging feelings who likes listening to bands who share those raging feelings. My emotions are taking over, and it will take some divine intervention to stop them. For now, I will listen to those lyrics that make me say, "Yes, yes! That is so true, and my life parallels that phrase!" And I will also share some of those lyrics with you:
John Mayer: [A portion of] Split Screen Sadness
…All you need is love is a lie cause
We had love but we still said goodbye
Now we're tired, battered fighters
And it stings when it's nobody's fault
Cause there's nothing to blame at the drop of your name
It's only the air you took and the breath you left
Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on the porch 'til you come back home
Oh, right
I can't find a flight
So I'll check the weather wherever you are
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right
We share the sadness
Split screen sadness
I called
Because
I just
Need to feel you on the line
Don't hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day
Don't let me get away
Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me
So I can say this is the way that I used to be
There's no substitute for time
Or for the sadness
Split screen sadness
We share the sadness
Thank you to those who have put up with me lately; you are true friends. I promise that I will eventually snap out of this phase! To Mom and Dad, thank you for a great week! I loved being with you!
And so it begins: Get ready world! I am going to kick butt this week, even if it kills me [which it might...]
Good night, dream well, friends. And dream big. Never forget to dream big.
Friday, April 6, 2007
Spring Break!
It has been a crazy spring break, of that you can be certain! But as my dear friend Justin writes, it's not your typical "spring break" experience for someone like me, a 21-year old college girl. Instead of partying the nights away, I chose to watch "Cars" with my parents, and instead of venturing to Cabo, I am going to spend a day on the beach [today] with Mom and Dad.
Earlier this week, I went back to work at the pre-school where many hours were spent last summer, cleaning up play-doh and sliding down large plastic structures with my 3-year old friends. The difference was that this time I refused pay in order to catch up on some service hours for school. I'm almost done with my quota of 30 volunteer hours for the semester. Sweet!
Last night, I stepped out of my safety boundaries and went to Vince's Pasta and Pizza for a community deaf event. I'm learning sign language, currently about to finish my second semester of ASL. I really love the language, but what you find is that in a real life setting the words "belt," "welder," and "pink" do not help in starting a conversation with a complete stranger! Yet, I had a good experience and enjoyed the [slightly awkward] conversation that ensued.
I also finished an interview with a family friend for my "Psychology of Child and Adolescent Development" class. She is 3-years old, and she is brilliant. Some of the experiments I did with her, she successfully completed when she is not expected to know it for another 2-3 years! It was truly inspiring.
So, my bags are packed and I am waiting to drive to the beach. It will be nice to finally get some R&R during this spring break! Sure, it's not your typical "party" atmosphere you may expect, but I am satisfied in what I have accomplished the past week. I am thankful for my parents and I am looking forward to spending time with them! Since I will not be returning home this summer, it's nice to get quality time in while we can! I miss my brother [who is vacationing in Ohio for the week!] Hopefully I will get to see him soon!
Beach here I come. Until next time, farewell friends!
Earlier this week, I went back to work at the pre-school where many hours were spent last summer, cleaning up play-doh and sliding down large plastic structures with my 3-year old friends. The difference was that this time I refused pay in order to catch up on some service hours for school. I'm almost done with my quota of 30 volunteer hours for the semester. Sweet!
Last night, I stepped out of my safety boundaries and went to Vince's Pasta and Pizza for a community deaf event. I'm learning sign language, currently about to finish my second semester of ASL. I really love the language, but what you find is that in a real life setting the words "belt," "welder," and "pink" do not help in starting a conversation with a complete stranger! Yet, I had a good experience and enjoyed the [slightly awkward] conversation that ensued.
I also finished an interview with a family friend for my "Psychology of Child and Adolescent Development" class. She is 3-years old, and she is brilliant. Some of the experiments I did with her, she successfully completed when she is not expected to know it for another 2-3 years! It was truly inspiring.
So, my bags are packed and I am waiting to drive to the beach. It will be nice to finally get some R&R during this spring break! Sure, it's not your typical "party" atmosphere you may expect, but I am satisfied in what I have accomplished the past week. I am thankful for my parents and I am looking forward to spending time with them! Since I will not be returning home this summer, it's nice to get quality time in while we can! I miss my brother [who is vacationing in Ohio for the week!] Hopefully I will get to see him soon!
Beach here I come. Until next time, farewell friends!
There is a first time for everything...
After many months of reading blogs posted by my dear friends Cy, Justin, and Emily I have decided that I would like to write my own blog. Yes, friends. Just when I thought I could not waste any more time at my aging Mac computer, I have found another hobby. Blogging. I have nothing important to say, no great advice to share, but I am on a journey to find out what is true about me. Read at your own leisure; I promise nothing more than an open heart. And if you choose to read even still, thank you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)