Dodgers Revelation

Tonight, I went to a baseball game with my dad, and Blue lost, but it was a great game anyway! I think there were 22 runs total during the game, meaning hardly any dull moments. But I decided a few things:

~Baseball food is amazing. Dodger Dogs are the best hot dogs I have ever eaten, free cotton candy is way better than 4 dollar cotton candy, and Wetzel Pretzels at the game are even better than at the mall.

~The graphics and music guy must have fun making a couple thousand people do whatever he prompts. Example: "Make Noise," "Get Loud," or getting people to clap with the Bah, bah, bah, duh, duh, duh, Let's Go! Amazing. I am a puppet of my environment.

~That my dad must love me in order to spend all that money on food, and that we always have a great time together.

~I miss my brother, because no one was there to truly appreciate the humor of awkward, white clapping hands on the screen.


I can't believe in a few weeks, I will be preparing for the beginning of my last year of college, and the fact that the summer is coming to a close already and I have yet to visit the beach.
Tonight, I am in a good place. I'm satisfied and happy. I like these kinds of days. I'm on the road to figuring out why I haven't been able to sleep [deviated septum, or sleep apnea!] For now, my Breathe-Right strips are allowing me to squeeze in a few hours.

Congrats to my buddy Cy for his acceptance to USC! I'm so stoked for you, friend!

Ok, 1am. Sleep? Maybe!

Goodnight, better luck tomorrow, Dodgers vs. Mets!

Baseball

This is my metaphor for life this week:

Sometimes life is a baseball game. The pitcher's name is Chance. When you step up to bat you don't know what pitch is going to come your way. You get your stance ready anyway. You're prepared, you've practiced, and even have a coach and a team to cheer you on. The pitcher winds up, and WHAM!. You get a curveball right to the face! It hurts but you aren't going to be outdone. So you step up to the plate again, cautious, but ready. Pitcher winds up, SMACK!. Another curveball to the face! Well, it keeps happening over and over again. You just can't catch a break! You don't even expect a fastball anymore, but you hope for a ball just so you don't get slammed. After a while, why even go up to the plate anymore; you like being safe in the dugout. And your teammates, though they try, can do little for the shinner that graces your eye. It still hurts.

So this is my life this week. My head and heart are bruised from the curveballs that have been thrown at me. One thing is bad enough, but the amount of surprises have left me weary.

I apologize for my "Debbie-downer" mood lately. Cy and I discussed the fact that we only write a blog when we need to vent, not when we are happy! So, I'll plan on writing something good soon.


Currently reading: Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller
Current angel: Brenna
Currently listening to: Timbaland's most recent CD, Shock Value [Favorite Song: One and Only ft. Fall Out Boy]


Currently looking forward to: A baseball game next week with my dad

2 am

It’s 2 am, my room is dark, and I’m alone. Tonight I hold onto the tears, refusing to let them fall. My eyes burn and my heart over takes my lungs, compressing them so I can’t catch my breath. No one understands, and I can rely on only my pillow to support me. The ones who say they love me are the ones who are making me crumble inside. So, I call no one. I reach out to Him, but He doesn’t answer. Sleep, an unknown entity these days, is what I need most, but even it denies me any solace. Here I will lay, a few more hours. My dreams will come as nightmares, my room a cave of emptiness. Maybe tomorrow will be better…